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32 weeks.

3.5 weeks later and we seem to be settling into a routine. So far nothing major is wrong with Hosanna. She’s gaining weight, breathing well (has been on and off the Cpap a few times, which is perfectly normal for a baby as little as her. She has been getting fortified breast milk through her ng tube for a few weeks now, and yesterday they started cue feeding. She hasn’t been taking more than 5-10ml per feeding and the remainder she gets in her tube. The nurse we had last night allowed me to non nutritional nurse(nursing right after pumping while they tube feed). Hosanna did awesome, she latched and sucked off and on for 35 minutes.

Of course, each nurse is different, and no nurses today have allowed me to try. The nurse tonight wouldn’t even try a bottle. Said she hadn’t been taking much so she’d just wait ti next time.

Not much else going on. I’ll add a picture when I get on my computer, blogging on a phone isn’t too fun.

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28 weeks 4 days

I just realized the last time I blogged was when we found out Hosanna was a girl and we were sharing her name. Sorry, I’m a slacker. I’m sure it has nothing to do with chasing three kids around and trying to keep the house clean. Honest, I’m just lazy.

A lot has happened in the past week and a half, and I’ve started to write this blog about three times, but I really don’t know where to begin.

I’ll start with a quick explanation since it’s been so long since I updated you! I have a very rare antibody in my blood, I had it with my last pregnancy and it caused no complications (that we know of) aside from it taking a long time to find blood I could use when I needed a transfusion.

I switched doctors for this pregnancy, because I wasn’t too happy with the last office I used. looking back now, I know it was all God’s hand. The antibody showed up on the routine antibody screenings that they do to all pregnant women, and after a few weeks and a few different labs working on my blood they came up with the antibody, and the doctor I was seeing decided he wanted to send me to a specialist to have a special ultra sound done, as well as to meet with genetic counselors. I figured he was paranoid since we had no issues with the last pregnancy, but I did as he suggested.

That initial appointment went well, and the specialist said there were no known cases of this antibody affecting the child so we didn’t have anything to worry about. A few days later I got a call from my doctor saying they wanted to do weekly ultra sounds starting in June to keep track and watch Hosanna. I wasn’t sure about it all, because it would mean driving an hour away every week. I was planning on asking another doctor’s opinion. Two days later the specialist called and said he had still been digging around and researching and after talking to his colleagues they all wanted me back up there ASAP for another ultra sound to check a few more things.

Monday the 14th i had my appointment, he didn’t like what he saw and decided I should go to Charlottesville where they could do a blood transfusion on Hosanna. Pretty much what they thought was happening was that my antibody was crossing the placenta and Hosanna’s body was killing off all the red blood cells, making her anemic.
The next day we packed up a bag, planning to have an over night stay in the hospital and drove the 3.5 hours to Charlottesville. They did an ultra sound but didn’t want to do the procedure because they didn’t have the right kind of blood, they gave me a steroid shot, and made an appointment to get another steroid shot at the hospital closer to me, as well as another ultra sound Friday at the original specialists office.

There was mention that if things looked worse they could deliver her by the end of the week. We didn’t think that would happen.

Friday morning we dropped the kids off at a friend’s house and headed to Roanoke to have an ultra sound done. The doctor and colleagues felt delivery was the best option at that point, before she got any more fluid in her abdomen, brain or around her heart. He immediately sent us to Labor and Delivery for a C-section. I got admitted to L&D, got an iv started and hooked up to monitors to watch Hosanna’s heart rate. They planned on a 4pm c section. The next few hours was a blur of doctors coming in and out explaining all sorts of things about the operation as well as the NICU and what to kinda expect with Hosanna.

At 3pm they decided that they would hold off until 9am, in order to get some blood there for me just in case I needed it. That meant two things to me, #1- I finally got food, and #2- more time to lay in the uncomfortable bed thinking about everything that could happen. We then started the long night of trying to sleep while being continually monitored on the uncomfortable L&D bed. I passed out around 11 ish, and slept until 2. From then on I was pretty much awake.

Saturday May 19, 2012 just 28 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy.  I got up and took a shower and then we waited while doctors were in and out again, until around 10 when they got to start the procedure. I was nervous about the spinal as well as the c-section, but when I got in the OR , they continued to talk to me through everything and I calmed down a bit. Everything went awesome, I had no extra bleeding, and Hosanna looked good.

She was born at 10:23am, weighing 3lbs and was 14.75” long. I didn’t get to see much of her at all, because they had to make sure they got her stabilized. They took her to the NICU, and Eugene followed as they stitched me up and cleaned me off then brought me into recovery.

They ran a bunch of tests on her, and found her lungs weren’t as good as the initially thought, but the drs were not concerned. They gave her some medicine to stretch her lungs so she’d be able to breath better and also started caffeine stimulants to help remind her brain to breath.

They also had to run the IV to her belly button because her blood kept clotting when they were trying to draw blood. They also put a tube down her throat to help her breath. By the time we headed to bed Saturday night they had done one blood transfusion and were going to start another one, she was also under bili lights to help get her jaundice down. We headed to bed around 11, completely exhausted and trying our best to relax and know Hosanna is in good hands in the NICU.

A week later and she is off the breathing tube, she just has a cpap. She’s getting a pic line and the two umbilical tubes out of her right now. They started giving her some momma milk yesterday, just a few ML at a time to see how she tolerates it.  So far she’s doing pretty good with that. She’s also down to just one bili light, and her blood levels seem to be stable (after three transfusions).

We are staying in the Ronald McDonald house, the three big kids are with my family camping for the weekend, then they will be back here and we will try to adjust to life in one room.  I am sure the next few months are going to be a little challenging, but I know we’ll get through it. God has worked out every little detail and i continue to see His hand on even the little things each day.

Hoshiya na

Friday evening we found out we will be enjoying more pink in our house. Josiah and Eugene will be extremely outnumbered in July when this baby girl arrives.  We are more than thrilled at this news, not that we would have been unhappy with a boy, but I really wanted another girl. We both had strong feelings this was a girl, despite everyone around us telling us it was a boy.  We have a lot of “feelings” about this blessing and I’d love to share them.

We both feel like this will be the last baby for us. I can’t say 100% that it will be, because neither of us will be taking permanent actions to stop anything from happening in the future, but we kinda both feel done now. When I was pregnant with Caylee we kept saying “one more”, but then when I got pregnant with Josiah we both knew it wasn’t the last pregnancy for us.  This go around I feel a certain peace about calling it quits, I am praying she is a laid back, easy going baby like Lexi was, I’m not sure I can handle another crazy child like Caylee and Josiah. Only God knows I guess.

We had some names picked out for a boy or a girl, even though as I mentioned we both felt it was a girl. My pregnancy has been very similar to my pregnancies with the girls, with the exception of being more in shape since I was a healthy weight and have continued to run and be careful about what I eat.  Eugene thought it was a girl, and one Sunday at church he got confirmation from God, as well as a name.  It was one of those moments where you’re almost afraid to mention it because you don’t want people to think you’re crazy, but at the same time you are so blown away by hearing something so clearly from God that you just want to tell everyone.

Now to the name…  Before I got pregnant with Caylee I had a molar pregnancy, some point either during that pregnancy or shortly after it I was in church  when our worship leader was introducing a new song. It’s not so new now, but that was one of the first times they had played it. The song was Hillsong’s “Hosanna“.   Lee, the worship leader, was explaining that Hosanna means “save we pray” and that it’s a cry for salvation. At that moment something hit me, I just felt God tell me we would name our daughter Hosanna. At the time I was thinking “ok, that’s cool, but i don’t know about it as a name.”

Fast forward to my pregnancy with Caylee, I share with Eugene about that Sunday and what I felt, because I never could get that feeling out of my heart, but we both knew that the baby girl growing in me was not Hosanna, so we chose Caylee Grace.  Years and pregnancies have gone by, but I knew in my heart that Hosanna would come.  I think Eugene still thought I was nuts, till a month or two ago when God told him other wise.

Since the beginning of this pregnancy we have both felt there is something special about this baby, not that our other kids are not special and not that each child isn’t a blessing, but there is something about this little girl. I really started searching out the word Hosanna and it’s meaning. I came across this excerpt from a sermon John Piper wrote Palm Sunday  1983, and was just blown away.

Our English word “hosanna” comes from a Greek word “hosanna” which comes from a Hebrew phrase hoshiya na.

And that Hebrew phrase is found one solitary place in the whole Old Testament, Psalm 118:25, where it means, “Save, please!” It is a cry to God for help. Like when somebody pushes out off the diving board before you can swim and you come up hollering: “Help, save me” … “Hoshiya na!”

But something happened to that phrase, hoshiya na. The meaning changed over the years. In the psalm it was immediately followed by the exclamation: “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” The cry for help, hoshiya na, was answered almost before it came out of the psalmist’s mouth. And over the centuries the phrase hoshiya na stopped being a cry for help in the ordinary language of the Jews. Instead it became a shout of hope and exultation. It used to mean, “Save, please!” But gradually it came to mean, “Salvation! Salvation! Salvation has come!” It used to be what you would say when you fell off the diving board. But it came to be what you would say when you see the lifeguard coming to save you! It is the bubbling over of a heart that sees hope and joy and salvation on the way and can’t keep it in.

So “Hosanna!” means, “Hooray for salvation! It’s coming! It’s here! Salvation! Salvation!”

And “Hosanna to the Son of David!” means, “The Son of David is our salvation! Hooray for the king! Salvation belongs to the king!”

And “Hosanna in the highest!” means, “Let all the angels in heaven join the song of praise. Salvation! Salvation! Let the highest heaven sing the song!”

So there we have it, our blessing, our declaration that our Savior has come. Hosanna Joy. because after all, Salvation brings Joy.

(Joy by the way, is my sister Karra’s middle name, we used my middle name for Lexi, my sister Bethany’s middle name for Caylee, and Karra’s now for Hosanna)

Hello, i still exist

In case you were wondering, the author of this blog is still alive. She is a 20 week pregnant woman who has 3 kids. She is busy trying to keep the house clean and organized, while teaching her 5 year old and 3 year old (some days) as well as trying to keep her 15 month old out of every thing he can reach and those things he just wants to reach.

I’m also taking part in a homeschool coop group that meets every Tuesday from 8:45-2:45. Lexi loves the coop and is learning SO much more than I could teach her myself. Caylee is also learning a ton and loves it, most days.

I’ve still been running 3-4 times a week and I love it. I’ve slowed down a bit, sometimes, and I’m not running 12-13 miles at a time anymore. But I’m running enough that I can still have sweet stuff while trying to maintain gaining my 25-30lbs during this pregnancy. We find out on Friday evening what we’re having. I am having a hard time believing I’ll be 20 weeks along tomorrow.

Other than that stuff, I don’t think there is anything too exciting going on with me. Josiah has been walking for quite some time now and still gets into anything and everything he can. Lexi is doing amazing with reading and her math still, she cruises through math chapters like they are nothing, and will sit down and read chapter books on her own. I’m loving the sonlight curriculum and can’t wait to do it with her again next year. I am trying to decide on a math curriculum to use, as well as what to do with Caylee, she needs some organized form of school work now. Josiah and the baby will probably just be causing all sorts of trouble while we try to get things done, but oh well!

So there is my mini life updated. :) have a good day!

Been thinking about parenting

This blog a friend shared has got me thinking a lot about parenting. It’s called Motherhood as a mission field. It has a lot of good points, things I needed to be reminded of, things i probably need to remember daily. I don’t resent my kids that I am at home with them, but I do get feeling like they are an inconvenience to me.  I get irritated when they act their age and do childish things from time to time. See, for the most part i have great kids, but they have their moments where the actually act like kids. And those moments throw me off and I get irritated.  It’s little stupid things that push me over the limit. It’s those moments that I need to remember A) they are kids, MY kids whom I love very much. B) I am their mom, I wanted kids so badly, and kids are dependent. They are supposed to be, they are KIDS.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are things a 3 and 5 year old could and should be doing alone. like wiping their own bottoms.

But as a mom, i should not feel inconvenienced by my children. I should not be upset that I have to spend 5 more minutes with them when all i want to do is lay on the couch and take  a nap! Being a mom is a sacrifice, sometimes it’s more of a sacrifice than others, but we are investing in people. We are helping them become who they will be for the rest of their lives. We are showing them what being a mom is all about. *GULP* We should be modeling Christ, so they can see Christ in us, and then in turn display Christ in their own lives.  I fail miserably at this, most days more than others…

Also, I’ve been reading a lot of verses about Love lately, what love is supposed to look like. It’s impossible to fully love without Christ, if you read 1 Corinthians 13,  it gives you the guidelines for love, it’s some heavy duty stuff! no human can accomplish that.  patient- maybe. kind- yah, does not envy, does not boast, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps NO record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes always perseveres.  I don’t know about you, but i have a hard time living up to just one of those characteristics, let alone all of them.  It’s only through Christ that we can fully love someone.

I am so glad I love and serve a perfect God who can help me love my children and husband the way He intended me to love them. As long as I daily ask for his help and admit that I cannot do it alone. Which is something I need to remember. It’s all quite humbling honestly.

Time for a change

no, this has nothing to do with Obama.

It has everything to do with eating. Mainly the way my children eat. The way I let them eat.

It all started when Caylee was about 18 months old or so. maybe earlier. She is really picky and instead of making her eat what we were eating, i would make her what i knew she’d eat. Lexi caught on and stopped trying everything we put on her plate, because we never made Caylee try anything.

Caylee takes stubborn to a whole new level. We tried the “this is what we have, eat it or go to bed hungry.” i can’t tell you how many nights she went to bed hungry, which resulted in her waking up screaming every hour through the whole night. for multiple nights in a row. So we went back to giving her what she’ll eat.

Now we have three kids, with three levels of pickiness. There’s Lexi, who will eat a lot, and will try ALMOST anything. Although she is stubborn on some things, which I believe she doesn’t really like. or she forgets she likes. We normally make her try a bite of everything i cook.

There’s Josiah, who is still young and will eat what we put in front of him, although he doesn’t seem to like spinach.

And Caylee, who will eat about a handful of things. and some of those things she wont eat every time they are put in front of her.

Every once and awhile i get overtaken with guilt. it’s normally the days when I realize they have had chicken nuggets and french fries a few days in a row, or a few meals in a row. Or I realize Caylee has had nothing but junk for a week straight. Today was one of those days. And once again we’re going to try to put our foot down.

Only this time we are going to take a different approach. Supper time is going to be one meal (some nights i make 3 variations of dinner). I will make sure there is at least one item that Caylee eats at each meal. Eugene is not a fan of making them going to bed hungry, so in order to eliminate a special meal or not eating all together, this is the way we will have to go.

What I am not sure about is lunch. Lunches are our easy meals, normally sandwiches, nuggets, fries, hot dogs. nothing healthy really. at least not what Caylee eats. I’m not sure what we’ll do there. I’d appreciate any and all ideas on picky eaters or lunch ideas. She is gluten free, or is supposed to be.

So here we go. a week detox. no nuggets. no fries. no hotdogs. we’ll see what happens.

Winners

My three winners for the shutterfly giveaway have been chosen by random.org. #3,6and 7. Kacie, Erin and Jeannette! congratulations guys! be looking for an email from me (as soon as I hear back from shutterfly about shipping!

Christmas is coming!

I am so excited about this promotion from Snapfish. They are going to give 3 of you 25 free cards!

They have some really cute prints for all sorts of things, holiday cards, greeting cards, birth announcements, and Christmas cards. I was going to send out Christmas cards last year as birth announcements for Josiah, but for some reason we never got around to it. If I would have realized how affordable and easy snapfish makes it I would have totally ordered some from them! It’s as simple as choosing a layout you like, uploading your pictures, and adding your text, and before you know it you have an amazing, custom card to send out to your friends and family!

Go check out their designs, since I don’t have very many readers, odds are in your favor that you will be one of the three picked to win 25 free photo cards! What will you use them for? Let me know in a comment by next Wednesday (the 26th) and I’ll choose 3 lucky readers by drawing random numbers.

updating

I know I don’t blog enough, and I definitely don’t fill you in on the fun things Josiah is doing enough either. So here’s a funny “what Josiah can do” story.

He was sitting on the floor in the livingroom eating a cracker, I had put on baby miracle for him (some baby einsteinish type movie that he wasn’t really watching). I came over here to my computer to look up how much a new Drying octopus costs and he was in there making all sorts of noise. I wasn’t listening closely enough to notice he was saying “mah mah” which means more or food. So he decided to help himself by crawling over here, opening up the lazy susan and getting out the box of crackers while continuing to say “mah mah”. That’s when I realized he wanted another cracker. :)

he’s also getting his 5th and 6th tooth, dealing with a cold, crawling properly, pulling up and cruising.  He communicates pretty well, says the normal momma, dada, nana, bye bye, bath (ba) and night night- although at the moment I can’t think of how he says night night.   He loves to play with his sisters, they entertain him quite nicely too.

Caylee is starting to show some interest in school and learning, so I’ve been teaching her the letters in her name. I think Lexi teaches her some too though, because today when I wrote “Aa” on her page and told her to write A’s, she started writing “h” and telling me it was h.  she “wrote” her name by herself for the first time today, her C’s look like rainbows, her y was two parallel lines and her e’s were more like os with a tail, but hey, it was her name. :)

Lexi is doing great in school, she loves it, although for some reason she doesn’t like Bible and I can read a sentence and ask her about the sentence I just read and she will have no clue what I said.  She loves math and often wants to do several days worth of work in one day, I have a feeling we’ll be going up to 2nd grade math before we’re done with the school year only because she’ll get her 1st grade book done!  We are loving the homeschool co-op that we are in, Caylee is having fun and learning, she loves to come home and sing the songs she’s learned to me. Lexi is learning Latin, sign language, the presidents, states and all sorts of stuff. Yesterday she started singing the preamble!

I’m using the Sonlight curriculum this year, with the Bob Jones math, and I think next year I’m going to end up piecing together different curriculum like I said I never would do. I’m discovering each curriculum has parts that I like and parts that I don’t. Although I can’t really think of anything i don’t like about sonlight- except maybe the outrageous price.  I’m not sure Lexi likes all the reading, but she doesn’t complain about anything other than Bible, so who knows what I’ll do next year.

I’m still running and still loving it. I’ve ran 4 5k’s this summer, and knocked my time down from 27:02 to 23:40 since July. I was contemplating running a half marathon in the middle of November, but I decided against it only for financial reasons. it’s actually a really cheap one, but after having to bite the bullet and lose money on my running shoes I don’t feel right dumping another $30 into running.  If you’re wondering what happened with the running shoes I’ll tell you. I found a really good deal on a pair of last years models sauconys. $110 shoes for $58. I bought a pair, the arrived, I tried them on and discovered one was broken. I called, got a return order # and mailed them back. I sent the package to the post office with 4 other packages. my husband grabbed them all as he was running out the door late for work, I thought nothing about anything and he mailed them. 2 weeks later I realized i never heard anything about them getting the shoes, called and sure enough they hadn’t arrived. I called back a week later, they still hadn’t arrived. it’s now been about 5 weeks and my shoes are no where to be found. Neither my husband or I thought about tracking or insurance or any of that stuff so we didn’t get anything. The store will not refund my money unless the shoes show up. So now I’m out the $58 plus the return shipping. and that was money we didn’t really have sitting around.  So yah, no races for a while, i have to save money for a new pair of running shoes amongst other things like new contacts, a speeding ticket i got, and a chiropractor to try to make the tingling and sharp pains in my right leg go away. Fun times! Did I mention I ordered a copy of Total Money Makeover on half.com the other day? My husband and I just started reading it and plan to put it into practice soon.

Crazy Boy

Josiah is 9.5 months old. and in his 9 and a half months he has had two ambulance rides, one seizure, a spinal tap, tons of cultures and tests, an ultra sound, xray and CT scan. He’s had surgery and has his first broken bone.  Everyone told me boys are crazier than girls, and I thought I was prepared… I guess I had no clue HOW crazy boys are.

Wednesday he was being really clingy and wouldn’t let Eugene hold him while I was cooking supper, in the process of holding him while trying to cook I leaned his leg up against the cast iron skillet and gave him a little burn right below his knee.

Thursday he started trying to pull up on things,  he pulled up on the side of the tub while was going potty, and walked his way from one  end of the tub to the other to get the shower curtain. He slipped down but didn’t get hurt. Later that day he was fussy, so I pulled him up on the couch next to me. Caylee disappeared and was quite a few minutes later so I asked her what she was doing. She answered “I don’t know” and I knew that meant she was into something. I jumped up to find out what and forgot Josiah was on the couch. A minute later while I was trying to clean up the two tubes of glitter that Caylee dumped, I heard a THUMP and Josiah started crying. He fell off the couch. He was fine.  That night I was getting ready to give them a bath, the 3 kids were in the bathroom and I went to get their towels out of the dryer. When I got back to the bathroom he had pulled up on the tub. I ran back to the kitchen to get my phone and heard a thump and crying. He had grabbed a hold of the shower curtain and pulled it down on himself. He was still fine.

Friday morning  I was telling Eugene all the things he did the day before and said “This boy is trying to break a bone!” Lunch time Friday I was holding him in the kitchen while preparing Eugene’s lunch.  Josiah was being silly, pulling my hair and grabbing my face then laughing. He got really excited and dug in both legs and used all his force to push himself off of me. I was only holding him with one arm and he went toppling out of my arms landing on his head on our ceramic tile floor screaming. I spazzed- something I normally don’t do. I screamed for Eugene to come and I wouldn’t even pick him up. I was afraid he had broken his neck or back. Eugene finally convinced me to pick him up and he calmed right down as soon as Caylee brought him his pacifier.  We looked him over and didn’t find anything wrong, but for some reason I still wanted to take him to the ER.  two hours and an xray later the doctor informed me he had fractured his skull. it is just a hairline fracture, not displaced at all, but they made us go via ambulance to the children’s hospital. They told us they needed to keep him for a day or two to monitor him, but he had to be somewhere where there was a pediatric neurologist.  They did a CT scan before sending us down there. CT scan came back normal, and down we went to be evaluated.

After 4 hours  there we saw the neurologist and he said Josiah was fine, we could go home.  So we left with our broken headed baby boy.  He’s been acting perfectly normal, and only has a little bit of swelling left, which oddly enough is not even where the fracture is.  We have to make an appointment in a week just as follow up, and for the next three months keep him from landing on his head… I didn’t think that would be too hard, but today he’s decided he really wants to be able to get up and climb on things!

Now his top two teeth are coming in  too, so he’s a teething, whiny, clingy, adventurous baby with a broken head. Who likes to get into everything. Fun times.